Loss of faith

Loss of faith

I am like no god I know, no god I have seen to have vision,
No god unto which you have bent on one knee
I am large and small. I think like the masses
And doubt like the minions.
In your head I am incomprehensible, when I cannot-
When I will not act...
I analyze, I re-circumspect.
I castrate thought and circumnavigate logic. 
For all sense is made little, small and retrospective
No sense made of idiocy,
Never unto human mind has less than worldly alighted.
No opiate numbs one to the world,
No fire becomes one with pain,
No pain excuses, nor surpasses belief, and yet...
No belief persecutes, no tenet excuses,
No opinion is the mass opiate,
No reason becomes the faith, and still...
I had a sermon, a speech so resounding in alliteration,
So serene in condescension, so lacking
In consolation and redemption-
That I found, and not for the first time,
So lacking in provocation,
So lacking vocation, so lacking in invocation
That I heard a voice within me say...enough, stop!
Enough with the ashes,
Enough with the corpses, the fires of atonement,
See that my visions and decisions, my faults and fallacies
are not of those that follow me, but of those that lead.
I pray to thou, to thee, to me.
Though not a religious man, not a man of faith,
I know what hope should be.
Though thou be not in the slightest realm of god,
May god be in you, build a house in you to nest,
To rest to build for the future, to provide and create.
If in this you feel misled, then you are in the right
If in this you feel waylaid, than you are righteous
If in this you feel- imagine, just imagine, you are god